Reflection
It was the build up that created the occasion,
Months in the making building anticipation,
A time we had discussed through numerous conversations,
Had finally arrived.. would it meet expectations?
We set off to a world unknown,
Filling our luggage with things that we owned,
Our minds racing with the adventures that laid ahead,
The thoughts we had dreamt.. would they transpire outside our head??
It was a time for reflection, a sharing of affection and would be the point for reconnection,
A major desire, for our relationships to fly higher but would the experience be something much dire?
Through the time we spent together,
I felt I constantly had to be better,
To earn your respect, to have your acceptance,
I completed actions and experienced repentance.
We sat as a group and enjoyed stories,
Sparking moments of reliving the glories,
But when I would speak and offer my 2 cents,
I would feel alone and lose all confidence.
Perhaps it was not meant to be,
the rekindling of what once had been,
I knew what I had felt,
now in person I had seen.
So we leave this moment with a feeling of despair,
An empty hole which I had hoped to fill,
I sit on the outside and look into the circle,
I wish to be apart of it, but feel I never will.
But that’s okay, I know my place and where we stand,
I appreciate the position, I do, I understand,
And don’t feel like we can’t be mates,
I just get it now, we value different traits.
The older you grow, the more you learn,
About what you value or what you yearn,
For me it’s being genuine and building that trust,
You shouldn’t hold on cause you feel you must.
You hold on because it adds meaning, happiness and pleasure,
But maybe that’s it, success is different depending how you measure,
What gets you up in the morning, what excites you to live,
Never feel any resentment, there’s no need to forgive.
A moment of reflection has released that feeling,
My new path forward feels more appealing,
I will no longer beg, change or impress,
I will be who I am without any regrets.
